My Therapy Session!

(I charge by the minute, so read fast.) ;-) This journey of spiritual growth is hard. It seems like the more the Lord teaches me, the harder the blows from the enemy. It completely makes sense to me that the enemy of my soul would want to hinder me wherever possible, but the fact is, it is difficult. I feel the growing pains from the weight I have to carry. As much as I want to shrug the burdens off, a still small voice tells me to persevere. How true that the greatest lessons I have learned have been through hardships.

Darryl said something last night that struck a cord in me. He said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "Why do we treat sexual sin any differently than we do, say, anger?" The reason that statement hit home with me is that I have a problem with anger. I've always known it, struggled with it, and hate it. I can excuse it and blame my parents for modelling it for me, but that's not taking responsibility for my own actions. The thing I noticed is that when I'm spending a lot of time with God, my sin is not such a problem. When I slack in my connection with Him, though, then my anger escalates. I guess the easy answer here is to constantly spend time with God. That, however, is easier said than done. Sometimes I have a hard time disciplining myself to spend time with my Lord. I get caught up in my day to day stuff, and before I realize it, days have gone by without me even touching the Bible. Sure I shoot little arrow prayers up, but I know that's more for my conscience's sake than it is to strengthen my relationship with God.

And that, my friends, is where the problem lies. I learn something amazing through the Spirit and I decide to put it into practice. Satan then puts all kinds of things in my way to keep me busy (that I fall for, much to my shame), and I start neglecting my number one relationship, which frustrates me and leads me back into my pattern of anger. So, I guess, I have to learn not to fall for the busyness trick. The key in all this for me is to stay connected to my Savior at all times no matter how hard it seems. I can't do it alone, I know 'cause I've tried many times. The solution is to let Him work in me, rather than me try to change myself. The incredible thing for me is that no matter how often or how far my gaze leaves my Master, He's always ready with a smile and open arms to pick up exactly where we left off.

I know this post sounded like rambling, but it was more off a therapy session for me than anything else. So, thanks for listening in.